Humorous, yet refreshingly profound!
10 You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
9 You feel insulted and ``de-humanized'' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.
7 Your face turns purple when you hear of the ``atrocities'' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in ``Exodus'', and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in ``Joshua'', including women, children, and trees!
6 You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed and came back to life and ascended into the sky.
5 You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4 You believe that the entire population of this planet, with the exception of those who share your beliefs, even including large sects of Christians, will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most ``tolerant'' and ``loving''.
3 While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in ``tongues'' is all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2 You define 0.01% as a ``high success rate'' when it comes to answered prayers. And you consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. (Which begs the question: If it's all the will of God, why the hell pray in the first place?)
And the Top Sign that you are a Christian:
1 Most Deists, Agnostics, and Atheists know a hell of a lot more about the Bible, Christianity, and church history than you do. (Which might be an indication of the very reason that you are still a Christian).
9 You feel insulted and ``de-humanized'' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.
7 Your face turns purple when you hear of the ``atrocities'' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in ``Exodus'', and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in ``Joshua'', including women, children, and trees!
6 You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed and came back to life and ascended into the sky.
5 You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4 You believe that the entire population of this planet, with the exception of those who share your beliefs, even including large sects of Christians, will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most ``tolerant'' and ``loving''.
3 While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in ``tongues'' is all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2 You define 0.01% as a ``high success rate'' when it comes to answered prayers. And you consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. (Which begs the question: If it's all the will of God, why the hell pray in the first place?)
And the Top Sign that you are a Christian:
1 Most Deists, Agnostics, and Atheists know a hell of a lot more about the Bible, Christianity, and church history than you do. (Which might be an indication of the very reason that you are still a Christian).
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